a ghost in your presence. )) [Open]

[tou]

He braved the cold, the wind, the harsh smack of reality, all because he couldn't face, of all things, himself. Emotions, so rare within the beast, he knew not how to deal with them. What were emotions but simple chemical changes in one's brain ... right? It was all just a psychological occurrance, one's mind dwelling upon the subject of just one individual, the want to be beside them for as long as possible, correct? He had continued forward only a little ways before he actually noticed how harsh the storm had begun to grow. The tiny flecks of frozen water had grown to miniature clumps, falling as if it were the very sky itself. The boy squinted, blue eyes straining to see what was in front of him.

Dammit, he knew they had needed to seek shelter. If only he had just ignored his social awkwardness, he'd still be back there, huddled up in the little cave, warm beside Ser- No. If he was to continue on, he couldn't keep thinking like that, couldn't live on the thought of her. He tried shoving it into a new perspective. He hadn't seen any reaction when he had nuzzled her, she was older than him, and she had just been a travelling companion. Heck, it probably shouldn't have lasted as long as it did. But the boy was glad it had, despite kicking himself for such at the current moment. Perhaps he was better off, not wasting what he believed were feelings for this other, if he had always planned to continue on. But how cruel it was, to simply make an impression and leave. Still, the boy was so lost in his thinking, so upside down and confused as to what had occurred in a matter of moments. A true shiver ran along his spine, even his heavy coat not being capable of protecting him against this kind of weather. The thinned canopy did little to hinder the snow, the pieces pirouetting upon the frigid breeze. He stopped, mind instantly flashing back to her. If he were this chilled, he could only hope the meager shelter he had found could protect her. Breath froze as it left his nares, the leviathan stopping in his tracks. He couldn't possibly continue into strange lands in such weather. But he couldn't go back either ... could he? His skull dropped, the Shire snorting at himself in anger.

[twi]

The wind was picking up and with it, the bitter, biting cold. Every year it seemed as though the winters were getting a bit colder, their fury increasing at a minuscule level. Eating had been lean this autumn. While other horses grew shaggy winter coats, Seraph‘s remained shiny and lean, only gaining a small amount of volume. Instead, she replied upon a snug layer of fat to insulate her against the weather. The chill in the cave constantly reminded her of her need to increase that insulation, but right now, Seraph was in no mood to venture out.
She lay dully, curled against the wall of the cave to stay warm. She knew that she should be getting in a much grazing in as she could before the ground was completely layered in snow, at the cost of losing some of her precious insulation while she sheltered from the storm, but she could not seem to mobilize herself. She just wanted to sleep. To sleep and forget.
Finally, with an effort, she roused herself enough to step outside, bracing herself for a blast of cold air. She was not disappointed; it nearly knocked her off her hooves. There were disadvantages to standing hardly higher then a pony. She carefully pawed the snow off a clump of grass, now brown and brittle. She hardly tasted it though, chewing and swallowing mechanically. Tou. She shook her mane. She had to get his name out of her head. It would make forgetting easier. She pulled up another clump of grass. What little hunger she had was soon satiated so she turned to go back inside, wondering why she bothered. The cave was so small it hardly provided much of a windbreak. Unless… Seraph started pawing at the snow, haphazardly packing it against the drift that had already formed at the cave’s mouth. She soon lost herself in her work, forgetting her surroundings, forgetting the nip of the cold. She was what she did. Her whole essence was absorbed in scraping, pushing, and packing, as the wall of snow rose higher and higher. She could have lost herself forever in making the drift, but she sensed it was high enough to provide adequate shelter. She carefully backed up, assessing the distance, then broke from a complete halt into a canter, planning to hurtle the mound of snow, as not to disturb it. Tou. The word, entering as though by its own will into her brain, suddenly consumed her, filling her mind with longing, leaving room for nothing else. Her stride suddenly faltered as hot tears filled her eyes, blurring her vision. Her powerful hindquarters, acting on their own accord, still sustained her leap and she arced through the air. In her distraction however, she had misjudged the obstacle, though it was only about three feet high. No, no, no! Her brain screamed but it was too late, too late for anything but regret. The lip of the cave seemed to jump out at her, soundly striking her skull as she collided with hard rock. She crumpled without a sound.

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[tou]

The weather was beginning to unravel more and more for the brute, seeming to brag that what it was giving Tou was hardly the brunt of what was yet to come. No such snows had this creature been foolish to continue through, the Shire finally deciding he needed to seek shelter, and quickly. His ears swiveled slowly upon his crown, their feeling gone. They were simply numb stumps atop his head, as far as he could feel. He shook his large pate, pondering what to possibly do. The flurries acted like a blanket, covering anything that wasn't directly in front of his snout. Single leg lifted from the ground, pounding the earth angrily. No way he would be able to find a new shelter in these conditions. Wonderful, so now he had to go with plan B, and make himself look like a fool. A low sigh escaped him, though deep within hi he was deeply gratefuly he had to turn back. Tou turned, muzzle lowering, bringing his facade as close to the ground as he could get it while still walking. He tried to make out his strides, those which had slowly begun to fill, and disappear with the rest of the landscape. He trailed backwards, carefully navigating, and only when he was rather sure it was the right direction. Keen senses whisked in the aromas of Seraph, along with those of himself, from the path they had made on their little walk.

Hm, he should be relatively close to the shelter, he was sure of it. But alas, he could hardly see, blinded every now and again by the flakes. Skull lifted a bit, maw cracking open as a nicker was realeased from his vox, hoping for a reply from Seraph so he could more easily direct himself to the cavern. He waited a moment or two, and when he received no answer, his flag whipped at his rump. So that's how she was going to be, hm? Cruel, rude, simply because he had had to set off - it wasn't like he had intentions of staying previously. But then it hit him - what if she hadn't responded, not because she was pissed off, but because she couldn't. So many possibilities swept through his thoughts, all of them equally alarming. Another call carried forth from his barrel, this one much more desperate. His brow furrowed, throat growing tight as he still received nothing. If anything had happened to her .... He swallowed past the lump in his throat, his pulse rising. He'd never be able to forgive himself if something had. He bounded forward, hoping he had chosen the right direction, hoping somehow, with some blind luck, he'd be able to find the little outcropping, or that she'd manage to respond. So many possibilities coursed through his thinkbox, his respiration increasing tenfold.

[twi]

Seraph was soaring through the clouds, cutting through the air at top speed. She strained her neck, glancing on either side of her body, but to her disappointment, there was nothing out of the ordinary. She had been looking for wings and seeing none, she was disappointed, but only for a moment. She had always longed to fly and wingless or not, she planned to make the most of it. Deep down inside her brain, a little thought niggled, trying to force its way to the surface. Seraph responded by a sudden dive, trying to shake it off. She did not want to think right now, lest she lose her wonderful experience of flying. She flew through a cloud, shivering her skin after coming out on the other side. She had not imagined clouds like the one she had just passed through; it was wet and…airy. She had always though of them as puffy and soft, like early spring grass.
By now, the thought, having refused to be denied, had suddenly sprung at her, startling her at its insistence. How had she gotten here? Now that the question was out, she found it impossible to ignore. She searched her memories but remembered nothing. Maybe she had always been her, capering in the sky. No, that was not right. She remembered a life. She was Seraph. Yes, Seraph. That was her name. She had lived for seven springs. Did she have friends? She could not remember. Tou. The name echoed throughout her soul, causing her to wince. Oh yes, she knew the name Tou. She shivered at a blast of cold air. Where had that come from? Without warning, her vision faded, replaced by one of snow covering everything. It was heaped everywhere and she realized that she was partially buried in it. Was this reality or simply an illusion? Now she back in the sky, continuing to fly as though nothing had happened. She twitched the skin on her back. It still felt like there was a heavy, wet weight upon it. Snow? But no, she was in the sky, it just was not possible. She became aware of a chill creeping over her, clinging to her limbs, touching her with its frosty kiss. She knew then that this was not reality but something else. Perhaps a hallucination,

[tou]

He grew ever frantic as the time crept on, and he was still unable to find the cave. At one point, he clambered to a halt, neck arched, a fine sheen of sweat notable on his pale, ghostly skin. This chilled him more, though his exertion made up for it. His nostrils were flaring, trying to compensate for his sudden usage of energy. He tried to ease his breathing, taking long, shaky breathes. Tou closed his eyes slowly, his ears rising atop his head.

No, he would not panic anymore. He would not waste precious time, if that's what it was. His nares grappled the air, pulling it in gently as he tested it. His sonars twisted lightly, tuning in to every slight noise. He sought just one thing, his eyes flashing open the moment he noted it. Not just her rather strong smell upon the wind, but the ever so faint crunch of snow as it was continuously compressed into itself. Breathing. He turned just a little, a small, acute angle, that apparently could make all the difference. He practically charged forward, ignoring the nip on his pelt. His mane whipped furiously at his nape, tail waving behind him. Like a part of the snow himself, he glided ever so gracefully across the lands.

And that was when he found it. The cove, abandoned, a drift - no, two, having been built near it. But her the one he had been seeking, was nowhere to be found. His ears flattened upon his head as he looked around, ridiculously disappointed. He was about to turn one more, when that sound struck his ears again. The crunching, so close, but perhaps it hadn't been breathing after all. One of the drifts rose ever so slightly, before collapsing once again. It couldn't be. He immediately scrambled over to the one, single hoof ever so genetly scraping away at the snow.

Her fine pelt showed through the white grave that seemed to so wish to devour her frame. His jaw dropped, a low cry escaping him. His skull dropped, nosing away at the snow where her head was. This feeling, this knot in his stomach, seemed to overwhelm him. He was ... what was it ... scared? She was still, unmoving despite the occassional movement of her rib cage. Large hoof slowly worked at the layer of white, being as careful as he possibly could. Soon enough he had unburied her body from the thin veil of snow ... but what could he do now?

Surely he wouldn't be able to safely move her into the shelter of the cave without injuring her. His velvety muzzle dropped, tracing the line of her neck. Seraph. he whined, tones giving away his feeling, against his own will. How was he to keep her warm, to keep her from being taken from him by the cruel grasp of winter? He pawed lightly at a patch of snow beside her, clearing it a little before he settled down upon the ground. He pressed his own bodice against hers offering as much warmth as he possibly could. Neck stretched as he slowly brushed his muzzle across her neck, trying to keep the blood flowing, while also trying to warm her up some. Please don't ... his thoughts pleaded, throat growing tight once again.

[twi]

Her dreams of flying had long since faded, replaced by darker visions. She was not coherent in either of the two mental realms, no longer believing to be reality what must be products of mind, but neither could she seem to wake up. Time was irrelevant. It meant nothing to her, sliding by as it did. She could have been out for years or maybe it was just minutes. She did not care. All she wanted was escape and release. Sometimes she would find herself waking and feel the ever-increasing press of snow upon her but she could never break through and wake up. Dark, half-formed dreams spun through her mind. Her thoughts were scattered and confused, even more so than in dreams of natural origin. Was this what a blow to the head did to an equine? Reduced it to a beast almost completely bereft of its senses, leaving it to float in its own mind's recesses? Without her mind to stimulate her body, to care for it and keep it warm, it would only be a matter of time before her only tie to life vanished and both mind and body were severed from life. She wondered, in her trace-like state, whether this was what death felt like. If only she could stimulate herself to wake, she thought regretfully. What a stupid way to die, banging her head because she had misjudged her leap. Stupid, stupid, stupid. What had caused her misstep anyway? A word. A traumatic instance in her life, rushing back at the most inopportune moment. Tou.
Warmth spread throughout her body. She wondered whether it was just another product of her mind, but no, it felt as real as the cold had only moments before. Break through the cobwebs and touch reality once more. She strained, focusing every particle of her will on one simple command. Wake.
She stirred. She inhaled. With the rush of air into her lungs came a pounding in her head, a pounding too real to be ignored. How it hurt. Now all she wanted was to sink back into oblivion to free of the all-consuming pain.

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[tou]

He blinked a time or two, keeping any liquid emotion from trickling down his cheeks, for such would surely show weakness. Tou was unable to collect his thoughts as he lay beside her, taking a momentary break from trying to help circulate the blood in her neck as he looked down at her motionless frame. Though her heart still thudded and her lungs still gasped for air, she herself moved not. It was as if she were some doll, her beauty preserved in contours of lifeless plastic, forever to be admired, but never to utter a word, never shift a limb. The beast stifled a slight sob of despair, the end result sounding like a choked inhale. Broken. He was so shattered on the inside, so hirrific by the fact that, had he not left, perhaps this wouldn't have happened. Though he knew not the full details of her accident, he was sure he could have prevented it, could have kept this girl from the harsh, cold grasp of winter's touch. It was then that movement was noted from her. Movement. The brute's eyes lit up a bit, noting how she breathed much clearer as well. His muzzle pressed against her cheek lightly as he spoke. Seraph. Seraph, please. Don't leave m- he caught himself, fixing his slip up quickly. Come back to reality. he spoke softly into her pelt, blue eyes shutting lightly as he tried to think clearly. Please. He begged, throat constricting once again as he feared the absolute worst.

[twi]

The pain seemed to take pleasure in forcing her to make her breathing as shallow as possible. Every time she inhaled, she felt as though her brain were constricting upon itself. She was thinking coherently though, and for that, she was grateful. If there had been any permanent damage, surely she would be at least somewhat impaired in the mental realm. It was more of a flesh wound then anything else, just an exceeding painful one. She blinked away the blood dripping from her forehead, winking it out of her eye with a long eyelash. Yuck.
She tried to think. Why had she gone into a semi-unconscious state, filled with hallucinations? She could find no plausible answer. Maybe it was simply the result of being what she was, a Shaman, that she was connected with realms outside of the one that all equines know. She had not felt any different after becoming one, but maybe what she had just experienced was one of the side effects. Not that it mattered much. If only she could just cure herself with her powers, but she knew it was impossible.
Seraph had not yet perceived her surroundings, still retreated into her mental shell. Finally, she opened one eye, careful not to allow any blood to trickle past her eyelid. Then both eyes flew open as she beheld a white figure curled beside her. She tried twisting her neck to see it more clearly but the slight movement incurred so much pain that she had to stifle a groan. Could it possibly be? Her suspicions, her hopes, they were all confirmed as words, sounding softer and more tender then she had even heard from him, reached her ears. So he cared. She considered allowing her head to come to rest upon his broad shoulder but decided against it. Despite the pain buzzing in her head, she had caught all of his words clearly. She heard his quick retreat from beginning to ask her not to leave him. Knowing that Tou guarded his words carefully, even while unaware of whether she was coherent or not, stung Seraph a bit. But he had returned to her and that was what mattered.
“I’m past death’s clutches now. I was within its grasp before, but now I know I’ll live,” she said matter-of-factly. The words cost her, extracting their price with a rush of pain, but Seraph was willing to endure the pain in order to communicate with Tou. She had missed his quiet voice.

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[tou]

Maybe there was hope if she was moving and breathing ... but what about her mental status? Would her nostalgia be glitched, unable to recall recent events, ancient events? He shook his dome, as if literally trying to rid the thought from his skull. The gash on her precious head looked ever so painful, and though he wished to clean it up, he feared even going near it. Tou didn't want to hurt her more, even if he were trying to help. Not just that, but he knew absolutely nothing about how to treat such injuries. A gentle sound, so lulling, danced upon the wind. Her voice. It rose to his ears, the Shire's gaze snapping downward to look at her. She seemed pained simply by speaking, such causing the boy pain just in observing such. His velveteen snout caressed her hide, before he lipped lightly at her mane, hoping to help ease the lass a bit. Good, good. he murmured to her, pressing closer to her, straining to keep her as warm as possible. He continued his actions, intentions of comforting her as much as possible while she was pained. What can I do for you? he whispered lightly into a single hark of hers. Hopefully, with response, he'd be able to not be so helpless, so ... afraid. Both feelings were still new to him, the creature shifting slightly as he tried settling into their cruel hold.

[twi]

“I’m…I’m okay. Just a little soul disembodiment, but it’s over now.” Seraph tried to continue but flinched at the intensified throbbing. After a moment, she said, “I’m really okay, I don’t need anything except rest. I was clumsy and banged myself on the head. It’s nothing critical.”
Tears started to her eyes as a crimson droplet coursed down her cheek, like a tear of blood. How she hated blood.
“On second thought,” her voice shook, “Maybe some snow to staunch the wound.”
Her body trembled with silent sobs. Tou’s leaving her had been enough to scar her, but hallucinating and blood? It was too much.
She felt his muzzle on her mane and tried to relax. Never could she remember another instance of being so close to one she…Seraph stopped in mid-thought. She had only loved once before, when she had been young, only two years of age and foolish. It had ended badly. Had she really been thinking ‘being so close to one she…loved’?
She drew a shaky breath and looked up at Tou’s face. Before she chose to commit herself, commit her heart, there was one question that had to be answered. She was not ready to ask now though, not now. Maybe when she was sure her mind was no longer clouded.