||= The Lonely

[lady shady]

The scars of your love
Remind me of us
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all…

”I loved you, Song!” he shouted, now completely lost to the fact that the little one still stood there. ”I loved you, but apparently I wasn’t enough. I wouldn’t have left you if you’d given me something to stay for—but as you and I both know, you didn’t! I came back for you, Song; I came back. And when I did…” Oser sputtered, chest heaving, the memory branded onto his brain forever and ever. ”When I came back, not an hour after we…not an hour after, Song, I came back to find you with HIM. IT. That wretched excuse of an animal, leering over you while you let him! You let him, Song! Don’t play innocent with me—it won’t work this time, oh no, that’s what I thought then, too. I thought you were the victim. Such a helpless little thing. Surprise, surprise, that was a lie too! I would’ve killed him—I wanted to kill him—I started to charge him, Song, and I would’ve finished it if you hadn’t pleaded for your sorry lover’s life. I should’ve just left him dead, left you with nothing just as you left me.” He stopped short with an odd little wondering laugh. ”But even then, that wouldn’t have been enough; we wouldn’t have been even, because you still had something of mine. You had my son, Song. And even if I never see your face again after today, you cannot keep me from my son, Song.” His expression softened momentarily at the mention of Reliou before hardening in resolution. ”No matter where you hide him, I will come find him. You forget that I have all the time in the world…” Oser turned to stare defiantly at her, noticing for the first time that she too was looking towards the brush. So it wasn’t just him. He faced the shrubs, ready to drive away the unfortunate one who had stumbled upon their confrontation. And his breath caught in his throat as he realized that the slim black figure that emerged belonged to Raine.

Her familiar scent washed over him, something slightly musky and mysterious, mixed with the faintest trace of something unfamiliar. Her persuasive voice curled around him, tugging him back to her, reminding him of what he’d told her, of what they’d told themselves. And then she was close, spitting, angry: furious with him for returning to the mare that, for an hour in time, he had called his mate and lady love. Her eyes burned into him, accusing, but what made him recoil was the tiny spark set deep within her pupil, the dying spark a reflection and perfect match of the one in his own eyes. He knew the pain she felt—hadn’t the gray mare standing before them both extinguished the little flame that had once been there when she’d betrayed him for It? Raine truly had feelings for him, he realized. And a sad little twist had set them all here: he still unexplicably in love with the cold, proud mare who’d thawed his heart just to shatter it, Raine, the lithe beautiful little thing who could have had any stag she wanted but loved the one whose heart was too far gone to ever be retrieved, and Song, who’d stolen his heart and borne his son, yet who’d forsaken him for a brute of an animal who would never love her the way she deserved.

And then Raine, in his moment of understanding, somehow found a way to smash his heart already shattered in delivering the unthinkable news: she was carrying his child. His eyes flickered to Reliou, then back to Raine. ”You…you are?” he asked dumbly, not knowing how to respond. How strange… the fleeting thought ran through his head, to go from having no children to two, all in the span of a day… Oser stared at Raine’s side, obvious evidence of her claim. His feelings for her were mixed, but he was already entranced with the idea of his unborn child. Oser took a cautious step forward, stretching his nose to her dark hide. ”You…” He inhaled gently—and caught that unfamiliar scent once again. Song stood in the background, a sudden reminder, and his eyes darkened. ”You lie!”

--behind the post--
734 words
basically, he figured out that she was with someone else—she heard him going off about how Song cheated on him, so she can accuse him of being paranoid (along the lines of: “just because she was unfaithful doesn’t mean that I was too” sort of a thing)

[Black Thorns]

"Let him? I let him? How dare you speak to me as if I let that bastard touch me. Damn you, you son of a bitch!" the tears welled in her eyes. Damn him, damn everything he did to her and everything he would do from here after. Life had grabbed her by the toes and strung her to the ceiling, thrust each misfortune into her like a searing blade. Oser was here, accusing her of letting him, accusing her of- of- of wanting this wretched demon to do everything he had done! "You say I wanted him? You say that with no idea of what had occurred previously, with no idea of my life leading up to that point or what monsters lurk under my bed! Do you know what's been drilled into my head? What I've been beaten for disobeying until it becomes instinct? No, you don't and damn you for thinking you know everything. You know nothing, nothing at all! What is this, you ask? What have you been taught? Captured and forced to obey that demon..." she tried to keep the tears of anger from rolling down her face. She was going to lose it, here, she was going to lose everything. Her heart spilled out, right there, and she didn't care in the least about who was to gather her most intimate thoughts. She didn't care that someone should find out what she is, who she is, as long as he would listen! "I am your master. You are not to disobey, and should I be in danger you are to never let me be harmed. Is that understood? Do you see how well I remember those words? I hate them. I hate them. Every morning, every night, he would tell me that. And when it came to the test I had to hold true to his words else I would be harmed. You can't understand... you will never, never understand."

She snorted, tossing her head high. "Then you demand to see a son I should never have allowed to stray from my side, a son you have no right to claim. He is worth more than your shining hide, and I wouldn't hesitate to do to you what I have done to that creature which shattered whatever hope of exuberance I had. You have no right to this son. You have no right. After all, whereas I had been forced on another, you willingly ran into the embrace of a whore! The fact that she may lie does not matter- the fact that you are worried if she carries your child shows enough. Why care for a son who is conceived by someone so unfaithful to you when you could raise a leader from someone who apparently loves you more than I do? A whore obviously does better, doesn't she?" her comments gradually shifted directions, becoming more and more pointed towards Raine.

"I murdered that man in hatred, Oser. I murdered every stallion I have met since. You're dangerously close to no longer becoming an exception." She strode forward to the pair of broken lovers, lifting her chin high. Reliou had remained silent throughout, retreating back into the tall grasses. She was glad- Reliou didn't need this.

Her teeth snaked out rapidly, snapping shut just inches from the mare. "A whore has no place in an Alpha's herd, you see. Best be gone before I make you regret ever stepping foot into these lands."




---dive deep---
.600 words
.bleh
.oooooh oser got TOLD.

[Abba]

Test your pulse
and check your vitals
if it's only a game you lost me, i quit it with a suicidal recital

Raine didn't care for this mare's conversation. She didn't care about this mare at all. This abomination could go and die in a hole. This retched creature didn't even deserve to be breathing. "I don't lie - not about things of such importance." she hissed, rearing up her eyes rolling back into her head for a few seconds as she pulled away from the snapping teeth towards her. "Lieing about such a thing is something that stupid idiots would do," she grumbled, stepping closer to him "and I am no stupid idiot. Yes. I smell that odd scent too. I do come across others while attempting to find you - I am not so much of a loner - unlike you. Such a loner that you fall for this horrible abomination and excuse for a mare." she said, swishing her tail so that it swatted the other mare in her face. "And you-" she spun around on her hindquarters so that she was facing the mare. "What makes you a part of his herd?! Someone as stag like as yourself has no right in an Alpha's herd either. At least I look the part." Raine snorted, raising her head and lifting her tail so that it curled delicately around her hind end. "I look like someone who would be chosen - you look like a worm that just managed to crawl out of the earth in time to be placed in the picture and cause it to be ruined." she said shaking her head. Then, snapping out so that she could try and grasp the mare's face and mar it just a little bit. Let her have more reason to be ugly. Yes that would work most definitely well. "And now that you have even more reason to be pushed to the side by anyone with eye-sight I will leave. I will leave because the abomination and the lovestruck brute to their games and torture." she said before turning and beginning to sashay out of there. "I wish you luck- finding your foal will be quite difficult from now on, especially since he is worth more than your own hide," and with that last comment she disappeared into the shadows.

[/blockquote]

==into the mind
.385 words
.Exit... stage right![/size]

[lady shady]

A drop in the ocean, a change in the weather
I was praying that you and me might end up together
It’s like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert
But I’m holding you closer than most…

Oser lifted his head in shock as her explanation poured forth—powerful, unstoppable, like water breaking from a dam. That brute had known Song…before? From the look on her face, he could not doubt the truth in her words—who would lie about something like that? Angry though Song might be, she would never make something like that up. As she struggled to fight the tears now flowing freely from her eyes, he struggled to contain his rage, fresh at the thought of the miserable excuse of a creature that had tainted his lo—Song’s past. It made him want to hunt It down all over again and kill It like he’d wanted to before. But Song’s words were slowly sinking in, and finally, he was realizing what she had done. ”He’s…dead? You killed him?” Actually, he wouldn’t put it past her, seeing as she looked furious enough to kill him right now. Still, the thought that Song hadn’t been unfaithful to him after all held his mind captive, his wounded heart slowly starting to bloom again. She had killed him! That must mean that she had still loved Oser at some point after he’d left—didn’t it? It had to, he thought ferverently, fighting to keep the hope from erupting in his chest all at once. The rest of her words he barely heard, only half-coming to when he heard her begin to insult Raine. ”Don’t call her that,” he said quietly, stepping between the two angry mares. ”I’m the one who…it’s my—“ he bit off the word “fault” before it could escape his lips; after all, he still did care for Raine. What he had done with her—perhaps it had been a mistake, perhaps she was even now carrying his child, but he couldn’t say that he’d never loved her. True, he hadn’t loved her with the deep emotion he felt for Song, but as a stag he felt protective of her at the very least. And he knew that she loved him. Given what he had gone through in the past year, he couldn’t bear the thought of being the one to break her heart when it was already dangerously fractured and close to splitting in two.

”Raine,” he murmured in a low, urgent tone, ”Don’t do this—“ She interrupted with a stream of angry words, directed both at him and at Song. Stepping around him, she reached out to snap at Song’s face. Quickly, he threw himself in front of her, letting her teeth catch his jaw instead. She drew blood, but he didn’t flinch. She would not attack Song. Raine’s eyes gleamed with anger and with tears unshed as she looked directly at him, coldly wishing him luck in finding “their” child. ”Raine--!” he tried again, wanting her to listen, wanting her to tell him if it was really his foal she carried. He did not believe her, could not believe her, but the unanswered question was torture enough. ”Raine, please!” But she was off, running away, disappearing through the trees as swiftly as she had come. Oser whinnied, taking a few halfhearted steps after her, stopping at the edge of the woods. Today, he could not go after her. Not when Song stood there before him, perhaps his only chance at happiness again. ”Song,” he pleaded, voice rough and low, husky with pain and emotion. ”I…I’m sorry. For everything. For not trusting you. For not being there when I should have been…not seeing our son born, not watching over him. I know it may not mean anything to you now, but I can’t keep on pretending. I still love you. I loved you even when I thought you’d been unfaithful; I hated myself then for loving you, but I couldn’t stop—I can’t stop. Not now, not ever. Maybe you never want to see me again, Song. Goodness knows I wouldn’t blame you. I’ve made a mess of my life, and unlike you, for me, not even death can come softly to erase the memories of all of the wrong I’ve done. But Song…could you bear to see my face every now and then; could you spare me a thought every once in a while? I can’t force you to feel for me, not after…” he lowered his head, unable to continue. ”I’ll go, if that’s what you want, Song. I’ve already done enough here. But if you give me any scrap of any reason to stay…” Oser turned to go, already half-sure of what her answer would be. Internally, he kicked himself for his timing—so now he told her he loved her, after all those months when he thought she’d been unfaithful, all those months she’d spent finally escaping her demons and raising their son—now he came crashing back into her life and demanded the answers. It would be too much for anyone. He had a half a mind to let her attack him again, to let her make him bleed so badly that he defied his immortality and slipped away from her world forever. At least he would perish at the touch of her muzzle…

—behind the post—
ugh, so dramatic Dx

[Black Thorns]

Come on skinny love, just last the year...
Pour a little salt
we were never here....

Oh no, no, no he was NOT going to simply walk out on her after placing forcing her to feel guilt! Sneaky bastard, using reverse psychology to make her run after him. She ought to scold him and make him feel even worse, but she very well knew she wouldn't. His sincere ruefulness tugged relentlessly at her heartstrings. She wasn't set to leave him at this moment, but that didn't mean he was safe from her sarcastic tongue.

"Listen up here, bucko, you claim you want to stay and then decide just to up-and-leave? Nu-uh, that is not how it works here. Yeah, you're an alpha, sure, but alphas can't claim neutral lands and I reign same as you do here." She tossed her mane back, narrowing her eyes at him. "And you tell me you could never stop loving me? That I don't feel for you, that I can't bear to see the sight of you? Tell me more about it, 'cause I don't think you quite understand how intensely I felt the want and need for you. I killed those like you because you hurt me- and my heart ached for you to return. In the evening I could swear I heard the soft pounding of hoofbeats, the distant war cry I knew came from a throat only belonging to you. I'd wake up at night and think you were beside me, only to find myself cold, alone, vulnerable. The impenetrable force of my love for you drove me to hatred; and I was so frightened of loving you that I tried to deny it once you left. I tried to pass it off as hormones and lust, and yet I only knew I couldn't bear it if I never saw you again. I need you, Oser, and that's what I think you can't get. You think this is purely one-sided, that only you care? Think again. Though I refused to admit it, I had plenty of time and plenty of reason to kill of your bastard child, and yet I loved you so much I needed a piece of you, I needed something to keep you by my side if only in the slightest. I love you, Oser, and the fact that you can't grasp that is what tears me apart. You didn't understand it before the war started again. You didn't understand it when you found me with my tormentor- who, to affirm your previous question, yes I have killed, and you don't understand it now. When can I get it through your thick skull?" By this time, tears had began to cut through the dirt on her cheeks, clean rivers streaming down her face. "I love you, Oser! I love you more than you could possibly comprehend! I will love you until the end of my mortal life and when the day comes that I am gone I will love you in whatever waits for me! I will love you, even if you do not know it. So walk out on me, Oser, just as you have done before. What have I to lose? I've already been shattered, I don't believe these pieces can be broken further. I can hide the brokenness as long as I want but it's still there. It's your fault, Oser, and you know it. You gave me a son and you demand him, you say you love me and wish for it in return. Do you not see that you could have them if, for once in your life, you would stop running away from what you adore?"

She bit back the tears, trying to calm herself. Unable to fight it any longer, she ran up to his ghostly self. "I love you, Oser," she murmured, tucking her head down to caress his neck as she had done so frequently before their emotional apocalypse shattered her bliss. "I love you now, forever, and I will not stop. Please, Oser, please let me love you..."

She fought for memories, a forgotten state of euphoria she couldn't quite grasp. They were red balloons floating away on lovely strings, she a desperate child straining for something she couldn't reach. Even if the strings returned to her greedy hands, what was to keep the balloons themselves from popping? When she was gone, what would be of her? Would he simply forget about her, would he move on? Would he let her go as if she had never touched his life? More than that, was there anything left for her once she passed? Was it nothingness? If he refused to let her go, surely she would be better with that nothingness than to be with this endless aching she could never resolve. Her son would have a father certainly happy enough to find a stand-in mother. Bitterly, Raine crossed her mind once again. It was quite obvious that Oser cared for her, even is he didn't admit it. Surely she would make a fine mother to her son. Yes, Song would live better with nothingness than to live with the fact that Oser could not love her. At least, then, the pain would leave her. At least, then, her shattered pieces could be buried six feet under and forgotten before the sun rose again.

[lady shady]

If only you saw what I can see,
You'll understand why I want you so desperately,
Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe,
You don't know, you don't know you're beautiful

Oser stared at her, stunned at her confession. All this time…she had loved him too? Part of him hadn’t doubted the possibility, after all he was quite an attractive sta—thankfully the sensible portion of him kindly reminded him that he’d trampled on all of her hope for a normal life throughout the past year (so that might have had just a bit of an impact on her feelings toward him) before he could finish the thought. She drew closer, and he longed to reach out tentatively and stroke that windswept mane. He hesitated, unsure of how she would react. An internal debate sprung up inside his mind, should he go up to her and comfort her first or—thankfully (again!) she solved his problem by approaching him herself, brushing his neck with her muzzle.

Her touch was so familiar, yet so distant, like the whisper of a ghost’s fingertips. He wanted to feel her beside him, to know that she was really there and that this was really happening. Oser reached for her mane, shoving his muzzle into the tangled locks and breathing in her familiar scent. Clean, windblown, utterly and simply Song…he nuzzled her gently at first, growing stronger and stronger until he stepped forward and pulled her close, drawing her head to his shoulder. ”I’ve missed you, Song,” he murmured, barely able to master himself. ”Every day that I woke up and you weren’t there…” He traced the fine structure of her face before whispering, “Let’s make a deal: I’ll let you love me as much as I love you…”

--behind the post--
hahaha, awkward for Reliou just standing there like “WHAAA?!”