Victims of Sorrow [Appy]

[twi]

The mare was a redefinition of beauty, her di-colored pelt reflecting the sun, its cream and gold coloration bathed in light. She moved fluidly, her hooves pounding a steady tempo. No sign of weariness pervaded her outward appearance. One might think she had just begun to run, as she moved with a matchless agility and speed. Only her eyes, tired and red beyond belief, betrayed the truth of long she had pushed herself to such exertion. It had been yesterday morning that she had begun her meaningless gallop and she had run through the night on into midday, without so much a rest.
She never slowed, flying over the land as though possessed by a will outside of her own. She could run for incredible stretches of time without ceasing, for she was one of the old kinds, bred for speed and endurance, a true daughter of the desert. Her very DNA had been wired for stamina and celerity and now she took full advantage of her skills, participating in a one-horse racing, mile after grueling mile. She did not want to stop, ever. She no longer cared for her physical health. All she wanted was relief from that tormented her beyond belief. She had contemplated death, but hardly wanted to go to the trouble. All she wanted was release from the agony that tore at her heart, eating into her very soul. Death could release her, but at what cost? She was afraid of the afterworld and even more afraid of the thought that perhaps there was no afterworld. Only silence and darkness. No, it was better to run, to do what she had born knowing to do. Perhaps the in act of driving herself to the very point of death, she would find that she had left some of her sadness in the many miles stretching behind her.
So she ran, a very vision come to life, for her exquisite beauty was undiminished, not so much as even tainted by her sorrow. The sun played over her glittering coat, illuminating it in its bright splendor.
Seraph’s animation resided only on the outside, no matter how glorious such animation appeared. She felt like she had been drained, like everything that had made her, defined her for what she was had suddenly vanished into the night. She was just an automaton now, a senseless victim of sorrow, seeking release. Sweet release.
A small pendant hung around her neck, swaying and bouncing with her rhythm. She had found it upon a tree the morning she woke up, that fateful morning. It was the first thing she saw after she opened her eyes. A meaningless restitution of her loss. She had almost ground it beneath her hooves, but in the end, sorrowfully put it around her neck, a reminder so that she would never forget what she had lost. How many mares were fated to wake up one morning to find that the love of their lives were no longer by their side? Why had she, the innocent, beautiful, Seraph, been singled out by fate to endure such a cruel punishment? Tou was gone. Gone forever.
The wind played through her mane, twining and twisting it, toying with its silky filaments. It whistled through her ears, a lonely voice calling to out her as she was swallowed her endless grief.

[aPPY]

[bg=#070d13][atrb=border,0,false][atrb=cellpadding,0,false][atrb=cellspacing,0,false][atrb=width,450,true][th] text "speech" thoughts "other characters' speech" Love was an inferno. A fire that burned you, branded you, turned your skin black with death until it fell off. Love left you empty, wondering what went wrong, what you could have done differently. So many questions with so little answers. So much pain, so much loss. He was so lost. Love tore you open, made you vulnerable, and then left you there to die. Why had he chosen to believe this time would be any different? Because the love itself had been different? He had been a fool. She had lied to him before, why had he trusted her so easily? It had all been so easy, so fast, so vivid. And now...so empty. So..nothing. A blank sheet of paper where a novel used to be. Erased, gone. Empty. The cry of an eagle pierced the air, a sound of sorrow that echoed to his core. Brown eyes staring endlessly forward, feet dragged forward in an endless trek. He would walk until he fell into the ocean, until he fell off the end of the world. He had woken to find her gone, where he did not know, but the air beside him was long cold and no trail was left behind. He had woken with a heart wrenching pain, seeing the empty spot beside him. Why had she left? He had stood, the worry disappearing for a second with the hope that perhaps she had gone above ground, though after searching he had found nothing. She was gone, gone, gone. With the realization that she had left, he had turned, refusing to stay in the North where there were reminders of her. He could not go to the South, not where she was the Alpha, where he was from. It was not home any longer, it was nothing. He could not go to the East, he would never fight for Ramaskith, and so he could not go to the West either, where Rama had already set up camp. So he had gone to the Neutral lands, where no allied would traverse. Where he could be alone and not bother others. Where he could drown in his sorrow like he had not allowed himself to before. He felt a twinge of guilt for leaving Rasta behind, the mare who had given him his gifts, but he would return some day. When he wasn't such a mess. When he was...not this. If he ever would be anything else. Kilton had come with him, settling on his perch once again, where he belonged. He had been walking for a long time, though he was not tired. He was sure he had been going in circles, not moving forward in any direction. He knew there were trees around him, and a sky above, but he did not feel the pain as the bark cut into his skin as he passed or the warmth the sunlight provided across his back. There was nothing. Suddenly he bellowed, Kilton flying into the air with surprise, a screech echoing off the tree trunks. The painted stag pounded into one of the towering, immobile, lasting forms, tearing gouges into the bark and exposing the center. He slammed his side into it, anger glazing over the numbness. Why? Why had she left? Why?! He choked back a sob, sliding to the ground and landing with a thud. There were more cuts into his pelt, these he had not noticed, and were bleeding down his sides and limbs, staining the white fur. He lowered his head, tucking it under his chest as Kilton glided back, echoing his grief with a sharp call into the sky once again. ==Author's Comments . Word Count 0613 . Notes - well. i guess she could hear him. xD poor karuk baby :( . Muse - <3 . Tags - Seraph

[/color]

Header by Appy - Coding by Abba

[/color]
Do not steal[/center][/color][/td][/tr]
[/td][/tr]
[/table][/center][/blockquote]

[twi]

Seraph wasn’t sure whether the scream had come from her own lungs or not. During the past few hours, such nightmarish hours, she had been surprised by spontaneous wails, drawn out and pained. It had taken her a moment to realize that they were her own, generated by some primitive instinct within, yet another expression of her sorrow. As time passed, as meaningless as her very life, she had come to accept that fact that the cries were her own, but this one sounded different. She shook her mane, trying to block out all input from the outside world. She just wanted to retreat within herself, to hide away from life.
Another ear-splitting screech sounded and this time Seraph was sure that it did not originate with her. She moaned, unreasonably angry at the source of this bothersome noise. Would they just be quiet? She just wanted solitude and rest. Yes, rest.
She became aware of the fact that her breathing was becoming ragged when she coughed, a deep resounding cough. It scarred her so much that she skittered to the side, ears pinned. Was she really in such terrible condition? She tried to inhale the air deeply, but something rattled inside her and she coughed again. This time it hurt and she cried out in protest, great tears forming in her ears. She reluctantly slowed her pace, for as much as she had tried, she simply could not heal herself and she did not want to die. Though life no longer held any appeal, she did not want to let it go so easily. She had been given a priceless gift, the gift of almost unlimited healing. She could not bring herself to throw it away, as much as she desired an end to this misery. What was she doing? Painfully, she remembered tenderly discussing with Tou, whether they should join the power struggle, him as a warrior and she a healer. They had eventually decided against it, preferring to revel in each other company.
Of course, that had been Then. The Now had come and with it, the stark reality of life. Seraph should have known that no good thing could last forever. She just wished that it would have lasted longer, she thought sadly. Now she simply lived because she did not want to put her abilities to waste. That, and she was afraid of dying, afraid of the inevitable pain, afraid of what she would find once her spirit fled her body.
She was brought back to reality by another racking cough, sending bursts of pain through her lungs. Almost simultaneously, she heard another tortured cry, this one fainter and more pained. She almost chose to ignore it, continuing on relentlessly pushing herself further and further, but decided that if her reason to live was to help those in need, she might as well start doing so now.
She found that it was hard to command her legs to stop running, as they had been for countless hours now. She had to make a conscious effort to slow their flashing motion, coming to an awkward halt. She swayed and teetered, trying to regain her balance. All of a sudden she was aware of her head pounding and the pain in her lungs, pain that intensified with each breath. So much pain.
She began to slowly make her way towards the stand of trees where the sound was coming from. Every muscle in her cried out and she found herself crying softly, which of course only increased the agony of breathing. What had she done to herself? Not that it mattered what physical condition she was in. Nothing mattered anymore.
She dragged herself far enough to see a Paint lying motionless at the base of a tree. Suddenly, she was all pity and compassion, her own sorrows overwhelmed by the sight before her. He was bleeding badly, the grass around him stained a rusty red. She tried to increase her pace, attempting to reach him sooner, but tripped and fell in a crumpled heap, right beside him.

..........
gasp, gack, 668 words. a new record for me!!!

[aPPY]

[bg=#070d13][atrb=border,0,false][atrb=cellpadding,0,false][atrb=cellspacing,0,false][atrb=width,450,true][th] text "speech" thoughts "other characters' speech" Love was an icy hand on his heart. Squeezing, squeezing, threatening to end the steady thumping that kept him alive. Each beat hurt, sending a physical pain through his body because it meant that it was just another moment that he was still here, still without her. It didn't make any sense to him, why she had left. There was no reason. Things were supposed to turn around for them, not plummet, as it seemed to have. Was it some sick joke? Were who ever watched over them all in need of some entertainment, and just happened to chose his life to ruin? Over and over again? He closed his eyes tight, leaning up against the tree trunk beside him, his breathing ragged even though he hadn't done anything. Kilton was silent, standing a few paces away on the ground, occasionally glancing over at him but mostly leaving him on his own. What was he supposed to do now? He didn't feel like doing anything, but surely he was needed somewhere. He twisted, settling further into the dirt and grass. Maybe those needy others could wait. He drug a hoof along the ground, scraping the dirt away and hitting against a root, enjoying the vibration that ran up his leg from the impact. He sighed, opening his eyes and looking at the trees around him for the first time since he had entered this forest. It wasn't that much different from the others; it had the same tall trees, the same branches, the same leaves, though it was different. The air smelled different, left a different taste on your tongue. The wind blew differently, even if it was the same wind. He sighed again, twisting away and tucking his head to his chest like he had before. He wished to sleep forever, to live him his dreams, where there was no pain and he could wake if things weren't going the way he wanted. The way they should go. Why couldn't he wake from this nightmare? He heard foot falls, nearby, coming in the general direction of where he lay. He only shifted slightly and paid no attention. Perhaps they would go away. The vibrations stopped, now barely moving forward. He snorted, Kilton hopping onto his back. The avian bounced, gliding into the air and onto a tree branch when another creature showed itself. Karuk still ignored the world. Why couldn't he be left in peace for just a short while? Though, the footsteps increased. They were not going away. Surely worried for him, seeing him laying on the ground in the state he was. A thud reached his ears and his heart lept. Shika? His head lifted, whipping around to see who it was that was trying to approach him, yet had happened to fall on the way. His motion stopped though, seeing that it was not, in fact, Shika. Not at all. It was someone else. Not Shika. The mare beside him was mostly white, though palomino markings were painted across her pelt. She appeared to be worried about him and he snorted softly, staring back at her with brown eyes. Brown, dull, empty eyes. "Are you alright?" He asked quietly, wondering what she was going to do. Jump up and ask if he was alright? Brush it off and just walk away, embarrassed? Was she always this clumsy? Shika had been so very clumsy. Always falling. And leaving, leaving and not listening. Oh, Shika. A sadness passed through his dull brown eyes, though he pushed it away. He half hoped that the mare in front of him was injured, hurt, something, so that his mind would have somewhere else to be. A new obstacle or overcome, a new subject to think about. Anything. Anything, except this pain. ==Author's Comments . Word Count 0637 . Notes - yay! :D keanu is so sad. /: first katerina, now shika. its too much. D: . Muse - </3 . Tags - seraph

[/color]

Header by Appy - Coding by Abba

[/color]
Do not steal[/center][/color][/td][/tr]
[/td][/tr]
[/table][/center][/blockquote]

[twi]

Eyes, a mirror image of her own, met Seraph’s gaze. They too were devoid of life, dull and silent, as though all the animation that used to reside behind them had been extinguished. Put out like a dying flame. Seraph's own were of an entirely different color, a soft gray-blue, muted, as not to call attention away from her exotic coat. But of course, that was only their outward appearance and anyone who knew how to look past the coloration could see the evident pain in each's orbs. Seraph was glad of the fact that her lashes were longer and darker, as to conceal more of the liquid emotion within, for she did not wish to reveal it to the world.
They curved softly over her eyes, sweeping noiselessly across her cheek each time she blinked. She was blinking rapidly now, trying to fight away the tears. She had not yet cried for her loss, some invisible gate was still holding the salty flood back. Instead, tears had been triggered by the pain in her lungs, not the ache in her heart. She did not feel guilty for not breaking down in sobs the moment she found that Tou was gone, for she did not want to begin something she could not stop. Crying for him would only intensify her pain. Such pain. But no, she should not be thinking of her pain, not now. Her eyes refocused from their inward reverie, to look again into the dark brown ones. His words fell upon her ears as just another of the forest sounds. She did not answer for a long moment, only blinking in surprise when she realized he had spoken. What had he said? She could not remember. She tried make sense of the syllables that had previously fallen upon her ears. Something about being alright? Yes, that must have been it.
A ghost of a smile touched her lips, completing her exquisite face, its delicate features brought to life by the expression. There was no mirth behind it however, for it was a smile of irony more than anything else. She had come to bring him her aid, but here he was, asking after her health instead. Slowly, like she was moving through liquid instead of air, she raised her head to look at him, her large eyes luminescent in the golden light. The sun was low in the painted sky, streaked with pink and orange, causing a halo of gold encircled the stray tendrils of Seraph’s mane as her head came in contact with the light.
“I’m alright,” she said softly, knowing she was lying. She was not alright. Everything was wrong, shattered. She was less alright than she had ever been in her whole life, but she had to reassure him that she was unhurt, for of course he was only asking after her physical condition. Ah, but there was so much more than what met the eye, so much pain beneath the surface. Looking at him, Seraph could see that he too suffered from more than his physical ailments. She heaved a sad sigh, wishing she could cure more than just the wounds of the flesh.
“I’m a healer, come to help you,” she said simply, her voice reassuring. “I’ve never actually healed any wounds before, but if you’ll let me, I know I can.”

[aPPY]

[bg=#070d13][atrb=border,0,false][atrb=cellpadding,0,false][atrb=cellspacing,0,false][atrb=width,450,true][th] text "speech" thoughts "other characters' speech" "I'm alright." She smiled as she said it, as if there were some hidden joke behind his question. Her answer sounded like a lie, though he said nothing. He was not alright, though he would say just the same. She appeared fine, even if her eyes were as dull and empty as his own. Perhaps she had suffered some sort of loss as well? With the war happening, it wasn't a big surprise. Others were losing loved ones here and there if they chose to fight back, to resist what could only be called imprisonment. If they had been closer to the borders, it might have been possible that a fate such as that could have befallen Shika. Though, deep in the North, hidden underground, there was no possible way. He had come to the conclusion that she had left not long after realizing, for that could be the only answer. Though, he would never know why. If he ever came face to face with her again, he wouldn't bother asking. He didn't want to hear the excuses; just as he had listened and believed her when she told him she was an Alpha. He should have continued walking that day, left her and never looked back. He should have, but he didn't. He had decided to trust her, she seemed so genuine, and now look where it had gotten him. He sighed softly, the action in tune with another exhale of air, both sounds were sad and he glanced over at the golden and white mare. Had she been thinking about her loss too? She spoke, and he was instantly interested, trying his best to push all thoughts of Shika away. A healer? He had never met anyone else with the same abilities as himself! He coughed, the surprise causing the air to stick in his throat. "You're a healer also?" He asked, paying no attention to what she had offered. He didn't particularly care about his own wounds. They were just another way to distract himself. "I haven't met any others," he shook his head, momentarily caught up in this discovery. His body was relieved with the fading of the pain, trying to hold onto the much more pleasant emotion. "I thought I was the only one." ==Author's Comments . Word Count 0384 . Notes - well. he's kind of excited to meet another healer. xDDD . Muse - :B . Tags - seraph

[/color]

Header by Appy - Coding by Abba

[/color]
Do not steal[/center][/color][/td][/tr]
[/td][/tr]
[/table][/center][/blockquote]

[twi]

Seraph could not make sense of his words at first. A healer too? Met any others? What did he mean by “too”, and “others”? Of course she was a healer! She stared at him in some confusion, wondering what he meant. Was he saying that he had healing abilities as well?
She carefully arranged her legs underneath her, standing hesitantly. As soon as she gained her feet, she felt as though she was about to topple. Her head was light, and the forest seemed to swirl around her. She felt herself relax a little. It felt good to be slightly disconnected with reality, to be living only half-conscious. If only she could remain that way, floating in her own reality. Her breath caught in her throat as something seemed to drift towards her, detaching itself from the rest of the mossy trees and skimming over the ground until it hovered right before her. Every muscle grew rigid as she stared at the apparition taking form. Everything else had faded away and all she could see was white, looming over her, larger than life.
“Tou?” she whispered, not believing her eyes. Could it be?
Then a twig snapped and she was jolted back, her vision clouded with black. What she had thought was her long-lost love come back to life was really just a fragment of mist, undulating in upon itself to form billowing, twisted figures until it expired. She realized that she was more light-headed than she had first supposed and felt vertigo clutching at her innards. She had to suppress a cry of both pain and wretched disappointment. For a moment she had actually believed it was Tou and the knowledge that it was just her sickened brain was crushing.
Everything seemed to reel and she was tempted to give in, to let this strange disconnection from reality take her where it willed. In the end, however, she chose to fight back and the feeling of vertigo faded, replaced by stabbing pain in her heart. Cruel life, cruel existence, she wanted to cry out, but didn’t. Instead she returned her focus to the stallion before her, trying to push away everything else. She opened her mouth to speak but realized that she did not know what to say. He had spoken to her and she had not replied, but now she could not even think what he had said.
“I…” she began and stopped. “I’m sorry, I’m not myself right now. I don’t even remember what you said to me.”
She looked away in shame, hating herself, hating life. Maybe death was a desirable alternative to this miserable existence.

[aPPY]

[bg=#070d13][atrb=border,0,false][atrb=cellpadding,0,false][atrb=cellspacing,0,false][atrb=width,450,true][th] text "speech" thoughts "other characters' speech" She didn't answer his question, only looked at him in confusion. So she didn't know there were others, just as he didn't? Or did she find it strange that he thought that he was the only one? She stood and he followed the movement, seeing her wobble for a moment. There was a twinge of concern that rippled through him, and he was grateful that there was some part of him that was still himself. At least he was able to focus and see if someone else was hurt, as it appeared this mare was. Or at least not as alright as she claimed to be. She whispered a name, the mane of someone she had lost? The sound of hope in her voice name him wince, knowing he had felt just the same when she had stumbled upon him. Though, he was pushing the emotions away, just as he had before. They were useless and did nothing but eat at him. After Katerina had died, he had secluded himself and went forever feeling nothing. It was better that way. There was no pain if you just pushed it away. Refused to acknowledge it. It wasn't worth remembering if the thoughts came with pain. It was much better to just be empty of everything and be completely objective with everything in life. He should focus on his duties as a healer, and nothing else. It seemed like an empty existence of itself, and after all that had happened, he didn't know if he could return to a life like that. Full of nothingness. But he would at least try...somewhat. It was the better alternative than locking himself up in some far away place to sit with his memories to keep him company, and one lone eagle. ..Right? He had barely noticed the silence that had fallen between he and the mare that stood in front of him. Hell, he had almost forgotten that she was even still standing there, until she spoke. Apologizing, though he shook his head. There was no reason to apologize, his mind had drifted far away from what was happening here. "It's quite alright," he said softly, shifting on the ground before forcing himself to stand. He grimaced, his legs tingling as weight was transferred back onto them. His sides started bleeding again where the bark had bitten into them, leaving gouges of skin missing. "I had asked if you were a healer as well. I haven't come across any others with the same abilities as myself, even in all of these years." He smiled weakly, a small twitch of his lips to the side and then back. Kilton down down, gliding onto his perch, happy now that Karuk was standing. "Judging by the way you reacted to the question, I would assume you haven't met any others either?" ==Author's Comments . Word Count 0482 . Notes - lalalala . Muse - mreh . Tags - seraph

[/color]

Header by Appy - Coding by Abba

[/color]
Do not steal[/center][/color][/td][/tr]
[/td][/tr]
[/table][/center][/blockquote]

[twi]

Seraph was glad for his understanding.
“Yes indeed, I am a Healer. And I too have never met any others like myself.”
She looked closely at the stallion, smiling at him for the first time, though it was a thin, quavery smile. “It almost makes me feel less alone in the world, to know that I’m not the only one.”
No matter what she said, she still did feel alone. The loneliness sought to overwhelm her, consume her, claim her as its own. She wasn’t meant to be a solitary creature, she need companionship and love as much as she needed everything else that kept her alive. Just because she had found another of her kind, a Shaman, did not assuage her pain. The fact would never mend her broken heart. She needed the love of one individual, one who could never again give her his undeterred adoration. The thought that perhaps he had left her intentionally, stealing away in the dark of night tingled at the back of her brain, no matter how she tried to push it away. She refused to believe it however, for how could she have mistaken the tender love in his eyes when he looked down upon her? Why would he just leave her so abruptly with no warning or reason? He wouldn’t, that was why, never ever.
So what happened? A little voice whispered in her ear. Something terrible for sure. How could he have just disappeared without leaving so much as a trace of his passing behind, no hoof prints, not even an impression in the grass from where he had slept beside her?
She looked sadly down at her sides, still slim and perfectly streamlined, just like the rest of her. She would never be granted a foal, for she knew that she could never love again. He had not even left her part of himself, in form of a son or daughter. Only a simple pendant, waving in the breeze.
Seraph was jolted back to reality when the stallion rose, painfully tottering to his hooves, blood running freely down his sides. She winced, instinctively taking a step towards him.
“Please,” she said, “as a Shaman too, you must understand how I feel; let me heal you! I cannot stand to see another creature in pain.”
Her words ended on an almost pleading note. She had not realized just how much she wanted to heal him until now. She wondered whether subconsciously, she felt that healing this injured stallion might be the first step towards the healing of her own broken spirit. She felt a strange emptiness inside, like she had been robbed of something that made her who she was. Now she was just a shadow of her former self, just a deserted husk, as beautiful as ever but nothing beyond her looks.

[aPPY]

[bg=#070d13][atrb=border,0,false][atrb=cellpadding,0,false][atrb=cellspacing,0,false][atrb=width,450,true][th] text "speech" thoughts "other characters' speech" He nodded slowly at her words. Half agreeing. In another time, he might have felt less alone when finding someone like himself, though it really didn't do much now. He still had Kilton, he wasn't completely alone, but he felt as if he was. There was this hole in his soul that hadn't been there before, one he was sure would become a part of him, never filled. The hole held images of the past, of Katerina, alive and as a ghost, as she had been not that long ago. Telling him to move on, that it was alright. Images of Shika, of her falling and hurting herself, over and over. Of him saving her, of him trusting her, even when he shouldn't have. All of this, sitting in the ink blackness of this hole, calling to him, and he so desperately wanted to follow. Follow where they had gone, to not feel so alone, so empty. So..nothing. At least with Katerina, there had been some explanation for her departure. She had been killed, murdered, by a group of assassins, probably working for Ramaskith. The severing of those ties made sense to him. It had been a war, people died, it wasn't something unusual. It was basically expected. No one was safe. But Shika? They had just found safety! Or so he had though. Could someone had possibly lured her out, knowing who she was, and killed her? It didn't make sense to him. Shouldn't he have known? Heard something? Why would she have left? Was everything a lie? The questions tore at him, searching for some sort of answer. He might have been able to function better, move on in some sort of way, if there was just a small explanation of what had happened. But everything was left with nothing, emptiness, just like his soul. He would never have the answers he so desperately needed. The mare beside him spoke, jolting him back into the present. He had forgotten her again, drowning in his own thoughts. At first he was confused, heal him? She couldn't heal him, his pain wasn't physical. Then he remembered: his legs. She had taken a step toward him, and he could tell that she couldn't take it any longer. His sides dripping red, his white markings stained in scarlet of all shades, dirt turning to mud with the moisture where it had stuck to the hairs while he had been on the ground. "Ahh," he started, then nodded, "Yes." Perhaps the cease in stinging would clear his head. Though, whether it would prove good or bad, he didn't know. Maybe the images, the pain, the memories, would become clearer? He hoped they would fade, that some sort of clarity would come to him and he would take a step toward forgetting. He hoped, oh so much. ==Author's Comments . Word Count 0485 . Notes - maybe when she heals him, they can connect like, more than usual? just so they kind of, idk, y'know? ROFL like. the hurt softens? idk. since when you heal you share a part of yourself, bonding or whatever. *shrug* And in a way, they feel each others pain? It's the same, after all. AND, Karuk has yet to have a child, considering both of his mates were pregnant when they went POOF. D: . Muse - <3 . Tags - Seraph

[/color]

Header by Appy - Coding by Abba

[/color]
Do not steal[/center][/color][/td][/tr]
[/td][/tr]
[/table][/center][/blockquote]